


Smile, keep your head up, you're mine.

by orphan_account



Series: ceo!au - sekai [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Insecure Jongin, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 02:18:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6934027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the one year Jongin had been with Sehun, not even once he felt insecure about where he was standing next to his lover. But a tall Chinese man grew to have interest in Sehun and Jongin felt scared. Around that time Sehun felt the need to show how much Jongin meant for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smile, keep your head up, you're mine.

**Author's Note:**

> this had to be smut lol but in the end, it's a strange plot with a nonsense. anyways, typos and grammar mistakes might be showing around but i hope you enjoy it!

Jongin had never felt insecure, not even when he was walking in front of dozens of people on a runway, not when he was posing with half of his clothes off, not even when he had sex for the first time. Hell, he wasn't insecure even when he was in front of thousands of people, presenting his father's company with topics he never understood. Not to mention the technology, the terminology, the facts coming with every new release, Jongin was never interested, he barely knew it, but still, he was confident in himself.

He could keep his smile, charming and wide, in front of the people, his voice was strong, not even once had it cracked when he explained something he learned by heart and not understanding anything. Jongin could keep his calm, he could be secure in himself, in his act of calmness, he knew he could charm anyone. People looked at him with pride and fascination. Jongin never thought he'll find himself in a situation he would feel scared and insecure. Worried of where he was standing, he believed that he would always be secure no matter was it a family matter, business or relationship.

But now he wasn't. He couldn't stop his heart beating faster, nor could he stop looking at the reason he was so worried about his position next to his lover. Sehun was laughing and leaning on a taller than him man, Wu Yi Fan, from what Jongin had heard, Yi Fan had been an actor for very long time, but apparently his family had a small company with which they tried to shine, while using their son's face. Yi Fan seemed as a nice and funny guy, gummy smiles, sparkling eyes and dumb jokes, he was nice. Nicer than Jongin for sure. Sehun felt comfortable with him enough to let out his real laughter, slightly bump his fist in Yi Fan's shoulder when the taller said something. 

Jongin didn't like this, no, he was scared of it. He needed months to make Sehun comfortable enough to smile at him with his real smile, to lean on him, to make Sehun just be himself when they're alone. And now, a total stranger did better than he did for one year. It wasn't fair, it wasn't nice and Jongin felt scared, a lot in fact. He didn't want to lose Sehun. He knew he was reckless, he knew he was the type of a rich brat Sehun couldn't stand but still fell in love with him and this was making Jongin feel worried about everything.

"They look nice together, right?" Jongin jumped out of his skin when he heard the gentle velvet voice right next to him. He disliked Joo Hyun as much as he liked her. Being Sehun's secretary, Jongin had to get used to her more than he wished, however she never thought of hiding her true feelings towards him. She disliked him, not so much that she was jealous of something but the fact that she believed Sehun deserved someone better. Apparently someone as Yi Fan.

"Who are you talking about?" Jongin thought that playing dumb would help him, and from the glare he received from the shorter woman, he knew he hit a nerve.

"Sehun and Yi Fan, they understand each other you know." Joo Hyun spoke calmly while sipping from her glass, looking at the couple in front of them.

"How do you know that?" Jongin had to hold back all his annoyance so that he could keep his voice even and nice towards Joo Hyun, she was a woman, she was small, he had to keep an image, he couldn't shout at her because Sehun might never speak with him again.

"They've been in touch for the last two months. Yi Fan didn't grow to be rich since he was born you know? His family and Yi Fan himself worked for their money."

"Are you trying to say that just because I was born with money I can't understand Sehun?" He hissed back at her, not letting her finish his thoughts and opinions. He liked her, really. She was nice and bubbly when she wanted to, but she was too protective over Sehun, Jongin still didn't know the reason behind this, but Sehun and Joo Hyun acted as if they were married once.

"Yes. You're too reckless, let me remind you that you put on woman's clothes to get fucked in Sehun's office, I believe no one else would do this." Joo Hyun glared at him. "Do you know what kind of damage would have happened if you were found out?"

"But I didn't and Sehun enjoyed himself." Jongin spoke with confidence and smirked at Joo Hyun, who rolled her eyes at him.

"Did you even ask him about it later? Did you ask him about what kind of meeting he had to skip so that he could put his dick inside your ass?" Jongin stayed quiet. "Of course, you didn't. You were too into getting laid than thinking about it." Joo Hyun sighed when she noticed that Jongin wouldn't tell her anything. "Listen, I'm not saying I dislike you, I'm just not fond of you and the way you act, you know? I want Sehun to be fine and happy and not worry about his company's future. Because you might get all over the news but you have a family that can save you from troubles. Sehun doesn't have this."

"I love him." Jongin spoke quietly, barely meeting Joo Hyun's eyes.

"Do you? Or you like the thrill from having Sehun to yourself?"

Jongin stayed quiet, while staring at Joo Hyun leaving him to speak with another woman in the dinner. Sighing, the only thing he could do was either to go and speak with many sponsors eyeing him as a candy or he could go in the corner and drink quietly his wine. In the end he decided on the latter. Being alone would help him calm down and stop thinking, he decided but he was so wrong.

The moment he leaned on the wall in the corner, clearly showing that he didn't want to speak with anyone, Jongin's eyes went to Sehun and he stared. His thoughts were running wide too, from the fact that Jongin was here alone, while Sehun had fun to the fact that maybe Joo Hyun was right and Jongin didn't appreciate Sehun how he should. 

But who would blame him, Sehun wasn't Jongin's first lover, but he was the longest he had. Not only that but Jongin had let himself be open with Sehun about his sexual desires and his future plans more than he was with anyone before and not to mention that Sehun gave him some kind of security. A security of something Jongin couldn't explain but he trusted Sehun a little bit too much and used him a little bit too much than he should. He knew that living together with Sehun was a risk and the fact that Jongin always was followed didn't help in their relationship, but Jongin was calm.

He believed in Sehun and he hoped Sehun believed in him. But now he was worried. What if Sehun could notice how much he could rely on Yi Fan but how he couldn't on Jongin. What if Sehun decided that Jongin is too reckless, after all he was bold enough to crossdress to get fucked and he was crazy enough to walk around with woman's clothes. Jongin knew Yi Fan would never be so desperate for sex to do this. In fact, Jongin was sure Sehun would be the one begging in case he was with Yi Fan, since the taller seemed such strong-willed man.

"Ah, I need to drink more." Jongin decided because his thoughts were running wild, he even asked himself if Yi Fan would be willing to spread his legs for Sehun and he was sure that the man would, because who could deny Sehun.

"Stop glaring so much, I think you'll burn someone."

Jongin snapped his head up when he heard the voice right in front of him. He hadn't noticed that Sehun was walking towards him. He was too busy staring his glass and thinking about Yi Fan and Sehun's future relationship. Sehun chuckled when he noticed the lost expression Jongin had and leaned on the wall. Sipping from his white wine, smiling at a woman who passed close to them, bowing.

"Everyone believes we're close friends, so speaking like this is no problem." Sehun explained why he was bold enough to approach Jongin. "I made sure that we can pass for one."

"You're too into the idea of friends." Jongin mumbled quietly, he didn't understand and he doubt he'll be able to understand why Sehun was so obsess of the idea. "I've always wanted you in my bed."

"And I always wanted to be your friend, but I never achieved it." Sehun chuckled. "I ended up being your fuck buddy and later boyfriend."

"Better than nothing." Jongin replied at this and avoided looking Sehun. He knew he was drunk enough to open his mouth and whine again. He didn't want to sound pathetic but he didn't want to lose Sehun.

"What is it?" Sehun asked and pushed gently his shoulder to Jongin's to grab his attention. "You seem moody since we got here and I'm sure it's not because you're horny, since we had sex right before we came here. So spill."

"Do you relate everything with sex when it comes to my emotions?" Jongin asked, genuinely concerned about the answer. Sehun looked at him as if Jongin had lost his mind.

"Of course? For the year we've been together, we barely spend time together other than doing each other. You change your emotions the moment we do it, before and after. It's always different and I always get your emotions right because of it?" Jongin noticed that Sehun was confused."Isn't that type of relationship we have?"

"So I'm horny whore in your eyes?" Jongin chuckled. He never thought of why Sehun always pushed him in bed the moment he walked frowning in the flat, or why Sehun stared at him before decided how they should have sex. He never thought that everything was sex related.

"No, you're not. You're more than that, Jongin, you're going out with me. I just don't understand why we turned to have this type of topic here." Sehun chuckled awkwardly then, someone had moved closer to them and Jongin sighed. Of course, it started with the sex, Jongin never thought about the emotional connection. Not until he didn't feel insecure about losing Sehun to Yi Fan. He was so stupid.

"I love you, I actually love you but we don't understand each other." Jongin laughed quietly and shook his head. "Do you love me?"

"I do." Sehun replied right away. "Come with me, come on." 

Sehun pulled Jongin with him, they walked towards the backside garden in the hotel. It was dark since it wasn't meant to be used tonight and Jongin wondered if Sehun would ask him to fall on his knees and suck him, but he was surprised when Sehun walked towards a small lonely bench in the middle of the garden, right in front of a fountain which didn't work right now.

"Sit down." Sehun almost ordered but he had wide smile on his face.

"What are you doing?" Jongin asked confused. He couldn't understand why they were here, why Sehun looked so worried and a little bit panicked and Jongin wondered did he do something wrong when he said he loved Sehun. But this wasn't the first time they said it.

"I just realized that I haven't showed you how much you mean to me." Sehun chuckled to himself while Jongin looked all wide eyed and shocked. "I've always thought that the sex is the main thing, you never proved me wrong to be honest. And also not to mention that when I tried to speak something serious with you about our relationship you jumped on me or walked out for work."

"I was scared you might dumb me." Jongin laughed then, he was stupid, always running away, trying to make himself smaller so that he could keep Sehun to himself.

"Well, you were, but you shouldn't be. You're mine, Jongin, and I'm just as much yours." Sehun leaned down and pecked Jongin's nose.

"Do you mean it?" Jongin asked then, he could feel his eyes getting teary and he knew he had enough alcohol for now. "Even Yi Fan can't surpass me?"

"Why Yi Fan is in this topic?" Sehun laughed and cupped Jongin's cheeks before kissing his lips. "And yes, Yi Fan can never surpass you."

"Because Joo Hyun said he would be able to understand you better than I will ever be able." Jongin frowned then. "I'm too drunk and I sound as whiny pregnant woman."

"You're cute and I'm glad you're drunk because you're honest." Sehun chuckled and pecked Jongin again. "Yes, she's right, he can. But I don't want him anywhere near my dick."

"And you said I turn everything into sex." Jongin laughed than and put his hands around Sehun's neck. "You're unfair."

"Well, everything is sex with you, but I think with my dick too so we're even." Sehun then leaned on Jongin and kissed him deeply and longer than before. "But I need to confess now, so stay calm."

"Confess your undying love for me?" Jongin laughed and circled his legs around Sehun's back. "I should record this."

"Jongin, I'm serious now. I think everything is the sex for you and I mean it." The serious way Sehun said it, made Jongin to shut up and look at his eyes. "I want something more. I know that when I have bad day, I can lean on you and share more. I want you to be happy with me and I want you to be able to share your problems with me. When you feel insecure, which is rare but it happened today, to be confident enough to approach me. Sure, you can't do it as my lover when we're outside, but you can do it as my friend." Sehun chuckled then. "I want to be your friend too, not only lover or sex buddy or whatever I am right now. I want to be someone as Taemin for you, someone to whom you can lean on, to confess something to me, to be honest with me, to cuddle with me even without the sex before that. I want us to be a serious couple. I want you to smile when we're close to each other, I want your head to be up and proud, that you'll know you're mine and I'm yours even when we have to speak with other people. Because I swear, my heart is beating so fast when our eyes meet, even when we're together for so long, I still feel this love sick puppy thing when I'm close to you and I want you to feel the same too..."

"Sehun, breathe." Jongin chuckled when he noticed that Sehun grew to speak faster and barely gulping the needed air while speaking, but it meant so much for him, even when Jongin had alcohol in his system he knew he needed this, he needed Sehun to secure him, to claim him in a way.

"Sorry, but did you get the idea or you're too drunk for this?"

"I got it." Jongin pulled Sehun closer and started to pamper him with kisses all over his face, careful not to make something to the hairstyle. "I needed this." Jongin confessed. "I was worried you'll kick me out."

"I love you too much about this, but seriously, don't put on dresses while going out. Do it at home only." Sehun growled in Jongin's neck and squeezed his hips to make his point.

"And I was thinking to act as horny kitten in your office these days. I even bough tail and ears and...."

"Jongin, please...."

"I look so good as kitten..."

"You're unbelievable, I open my heart to you and you speak about your kinks." Sehun freed himself from Jongin's hold and glared at him before walking away.

"I want your milk, owner!" Jongin shouted behind Sehun and let out some loud and high pitched meowing sound too.

"I hate you!" Sehun hissed but waited for Jongin to walk to him.

"You love me and I'm sure this will make you come with me home and do me as a good kitten." Jongin winked at Sehun who groaned.

"I should really go to Yi Fan, he will be nice to me." Sehun teased and stuck his tongue out and Jongin, who took hold of Sehun's wrist and stopped him.

"Don't you dare going close to him without me." Jongin hissed and Sehun laughed loudly and happily, while patting Jongin's head.

"Be a good kitty and follow me. If you're nice, I'll give you more than milk." 

"Now, I was the unbelievable." Jongin mumbled while he was walking behind Jongin. But he couldn't help but smile while Sehun approached some of the elder men in the room. 

"So you finally grew up." Joo Hyun remarked, when she approached him while putting some sweets in his plate.

"What do you mean?" Jongin asked confused again.

"You approach him as a friend, as someone who cares for him. I'm proud of you." Joo Hyun winked and walked away. Jongin chuckled at this and kept on putting more sweets, so that he can give some to Sehun who was in heated conversation about some model agency he was planning to get close to.

And Jongin for the first time, felt happy with himself, because he actually listened to what Sehun was telling to his listeners. For the first time, Jongin realized how good and genuinely talented Sehun was with his words. Jongin felt proud to be someone next to Sehun, also he didn't miss the gentle way Sehun put his palm on the small of Jongin's back when he mentioned him and his talent as performer, or when he mentioned how important Jongin's company was. Or simply when Sehun wanted to lean on someone and feel that he was supported.

Jongin indeed could be something more to Sehun. He wanted to be more. Not to mention that Yi Fan had eyes for only one woman in the whole dinner, who ended to be his wife. Jongin greeted them with a smile and he even spoke with them, from time to time mentioning Sehun's talents.


End file.
